What Am I Supposed to Say?

- It's one of those things that's always hard. How do you comfort a person who has just lost someone very close to him?  What should you say in that situation?
Tiffany Laur, Executive Director of The Hope and Healing Place, has some advice.

Common Mistakes:
- Don't take it so hard
- Let's not talk about it
- I don't want to make you cry
- It was God's will
- I know just how you feel
- It has been a year since he/she died; aren't you over it yet?
- Be grateful you still have your other children
- God picks the most beautiful flowers first
- We are never given more than we can handle
- God needs him/her more than you do
- Call me if there is anything I can do
- You must be strong for your children (or spouse)
- It's going to be OK
- Pull yourself together.

"People often say these things out of their own discomfort about death or feel they have to say something," Laur said.  "There's a societal notion that we are supposed to get over grief.  It's actually unhealthy to rush through it.  While grief feelings are scary to face, it's scarier not to face them."

What the bereaved want from us:
- Don't hurry me to get over it - it's hurtful and isolating
- Please, just let me talk
- Ask me about ____________
- Hold me and let me cry
- Don't be afraid of my silences

What we can really do:
- Understand that grief is a normal response to a loss
- Listen
- Reassure
- Reach out to them.   Don't go away, and stay in touch
- Do something real (like an errand, cleaning, mail, help write notes)
- Gentle reminder of past enjoyment(s) (sharing stories, photos, memory tokens)
- Encourage new beginnings (finding new meaning in the past or in the future)
- Be there

The Hope & Healing Place

1721 S. Tyler




Hope & Healing Place 1/2 Marathon

- Sunday, May 11th

- 7 a.m.

- $60 / $80 / $120


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